How many times have we heard this prompt? How many times have you felt anxious and under pressure, and the best advice you heard was «relax!»? In my opinion, it is one of the most common pieces of advice anyone can receive. Does it help us? Or have we perhaps not thought of it at that very moment and are just waiting for someone to remind us? Honestly, how do you feel when you are heavily stressed by everyday life and life's problems and someone tells you, «relax!»? Every human being is unique, has unique emotions, and the ways in which they express them are also unique.
Let us take the example of George, who came home very tired yesterday. Today, he did not hear his alarm and overslept, so as soon as he opened his eyes and realised that time had passed, he started rushing to get ready. He accidentally spilled coffee on the shirt he had just put on, which likely made him even more stressed. As he left the house, he realised his car was surrounded by market stalls because last night he was so tired he did not see the warning tape. With no time left to waste, he hopped on public transport and headed to work. His manager reprimanded him for being late, so he buried himself in his work and wrote a piece of text which he finished after three whole hours of labour. The moment for him to return home to chill with his friend was approaching. A sudden power cut was enough for all the text to be lost! This meant that today George would have to stay at work for extra hours to finish the text that was lost. Already, we can feel how stressed and overloaded he is by everything that has happened. But his adventures do not end here! Returning home, he realised that in the morning rush he had forgotten to turn off the bathroom tap and his bathroom had flooded. Just at that moment, his friend Babis arrived as they had planned, saw him ready to explode, and said: «Well, George, why are you making such a fuss? Relax!»
I would like us to think together about how George would have felt at that moment. Would he perhaps have wanted to hear something different? Would he have wanted someone to understand him? Would he have wanted someone to ask him if he was actually stressed or feeling some other way? Would someone have wanted to show interest and ask him why he was stressed? Or perhaps, in the end, he simply wanted someone to tell him to relax?;
As we have seen in previous articles, the first step in communication is to listen to, accept, and empathise with the person in front of us. Let us consider how much more helpful it would have been if George had heard the following: «I feel that you are stressed, am I understanding that correctly? I would like to hear what has happened to you and why you feel this way, would you like to talk to me?»
At the end of the day, hearing the above words spoken in a calm voice within an atmosphere of acceptance by our loved ones is all we need in order to relax!