Sit opposite each other with your partner, colleague or anyone you wish to improve your communication with. Agree who will be A and who will be B. A says something that you know is true, such as «The show we watched on television was interesting» or «it's cold this afternoon». In turn, B always responds by starting their sentence with the words «you mean that…» and continues their phrase in a way that shows whether they have understood or not. The goal of the exercise is for A to say three yeses.
Example:
A: «I didn't like the food»
B: «you mean you never want to eat it again?»
A: «no»
B: «you mean we need to change something in the recipe?»
A: «yes»
B: «you mean it needed more salt?»
A: «no»
B: «you mean it needed to be cooked longer?»
A: «yes»
B: «you mean you want us to cook it longer next time?»
A: «yes»
Keep alternating roles for ten minutes. Then look for the new insights that most likely wouldn't have emerged if you hadn't done the exercise.
Now, how do you feel about the prospect of using the question starting with: «you mean you want…;» more in your daily life?»
The skill of understanding others helps you build meaningful, authentic connection in your relationships.
It is one of the first foundational steps that lead a relationship to thrive.