Real help is perhaps much simpler than we think.
- Offer your embrace and allow the person to soak your clothes with their tears for as long as they need,
- If this moves you then cry too with them,
- They want your ears to patiently listen to whatever they have to tell you,
- They want your eyes to show that they are cared for by the way you look at them; you can caress their wounded soul simply with your gaze. They want to see them damp, like their own,
- Do not minimise any of their feelings. You do not know (and perhaps will never know) what what they lost meant to them,
- Do not tell the grieving person: “everything is going to be fine..” because quite simply IT IS NOT !,
- Do not tell them: “do not show that you are hurting”. They are hurting and need to express it,
- They will need your embrace, your support on other days too not just today,
- Do not you ever say to them: ”don't cry”, nor “stop crying”. The fact that their crying doesn't “fit” inside you is not a priority. Instead, give them time and space to cry, encourage them,
- The healing of grief is grief itself. Healing grief means experiencing the mourning, the sadness, the sorrow, the emptiness that it brings with it.